When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
