Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
