There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
