THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
