I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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