My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
