I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
