I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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