then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
