My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
