shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
