That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
