I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
