VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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