Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize