I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
