There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
