this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
