i just wanna soil my oats bro
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
