I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
