i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
