Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
