I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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