I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
false alarm. still invincible.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
