Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
