Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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