Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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