he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
