Cold hands, warm shart.
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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