That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
