Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
