please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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