fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
