First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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