oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
50% drunk capacity currently
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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