I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
