I just cut my nipple shaving
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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