he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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