I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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