there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
