hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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