i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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