Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
