I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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