He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize