Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
