I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
ttyl tear gas
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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