Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
