And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
