i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
