I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
