never play flip cup with pint glasses
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
this will be a night to untag.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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