Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
