Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Nicole vs. Life
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize