this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
