May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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