So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
