Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
