Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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