I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
