I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize