is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So squirting runs in the family.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
